I miss school!  Only a month out of it, and I want to come back.  I'm homesick for school.  What is a girl to do?  I keep getting all the welcome back emails and stuff, and I feel lost.  I'm sure that will all change when I start the new job next week.  And my taste for classwork is being whetted by this Kaplan review I've been taking. 

It's nice to not have to shell out oodles of money for books or wonder what my instructors will be like this year or figure out how to manage the load of full time school work and the rest of my life.  But I would still do it all over, I really would. 

I'm almost 29 years old and I guess I have to grow up some time, and function in the real world.  After all, this is what I've worked for, right?  However, if I could get paid to be a professional student, I would do that in a heartbeat.  I'm a bookworm. I'm a dork.  I can't help it.  I love school. After all the moaning and groaning I did last semester, I would still keep coming back to the familiarty and comfort of Lourdes College.  It was my home away from home for six years, and I've been through a lot there.  I have finally left the nest.

Maybe I'm just getting anxious about not having the safety net of school.  Without school, I am now forced to grow up, live in the real world, move out of my parents' house, get married to my fiance, and just live life. 

I've always wanted all of that, and now it's staring me in the face and I don't know what to do.  It is time to face the music. I'm anxious, scared, and excited all at the same time. 

So, good luck this semester.  I have had the cord cut and I must now venture out on my own.  Later!

Wednesday, January 16, 2008 6:26:28 PM (Atlantic Standard Time, UTC-04:00)    Comments [0] | 

 I'm done with school.  And I'll be moving to the Alumni blog section soon.  Let me tell you, it was not easy getting through last semester.  But I did, and I managed to make the Dean's List--first time in a looooong time I got all A's--what a way to end my college career thus far.  My nursing class had a banquet in December to celebrate our "graduation" and it was amazing.  I just wish we didn't have to wait until May for commencement.

So what's this girl got planned now?  Well, I start my new job as a nurse intern at Toledo Hospital on the 21st and I am so excited.  I will be rotating through the step down and intensive care units for the next year and then I will be placed on an ICU of my choosing.  What a great opportunity! I am so happy and thrilled to be able to do this. 

In February I will be taking my NCLEX, the test that I must pass in order to get my nursing license.  I've been studying for it a bit and Toledo Hospital requires the interns to take the Kaplan review, a course that prepares new nurses for state boards.  The Kaplan has an extremely high rate for students passing boards and I've heard it is the best review to attend.  For those nursing students out there, I recommend you start studying now and plan on going to a Kaplan review.  You can never be too prepared.

I'm so happy to have some time off.  I have such a renewed sense of accomplishment and pride now that I've made it through college.  It is truly rewarding and surreal.  I don't think it has quite hit me, although I did become emotional during Christmas Eve Mass at the Queen of Peace Chapel because I realized this was the last time I would be attending Mass as a student. 

I made it.  I thought of giving up so many times over the last few years, but luckily I stuck it out and came out on top.  It is so worth it.  Nursing school is not easy.  Unless you actually go through it yourself, you have no idea of the emotional roller coaster nursing students ride throughout the program.  It is up and down and left and right and unpredictable and scary and devastating and happy and exhilirating.  It is a once in a lifetime experience that is so unique and challenging you don't ever wish it on anyone but you would do it all again if you had to. 

You love it and hate it.  You experience things no one else gets to experience.  There are joys and sorrows, nights of endless studying and worrying, days of endless classes, clinicals, and homework.  Your life passes you by in a blur, you give up all your freedoms and devote yourself to getting through school. 

The WIN Center staff knows you, your life story, and your school schedule.  Relationships are ruined, hurt, rebuilt, or strengthened.  You get used to the smell of hospitals, poop, and hospital food.  You also get used to the unflattering Lourdes College nursing uniform.  You never forget the first patient you had that died.  You'll always remember the first person you gave a shot to, bathed, or wiped their butt.  It sounds crazy, but it's true. 

You will cry more than you ever have in your life and you will feel alone unless you accept your classmates as your surrogate family.  You will hate most of your instructors while you have them but you will respect them and even like them after you've passed their classes.  Some will still scare you.  Some will be disliked even more. But most will remember you and continue to encourage you in your journey.

I could go on and on, but to all of you nursing students or future nursing students out there, it IS worth it and you CAN do it.  The rewards outweigh all the bad stuff tenfold.  I am so fortunate that I was able to do this through Lourdes.  I have made some fantastic friends and I had a phenomenal experience with the staff as well.  This journey was so worthwhile and I am so excited to begin my life as a nurse.  Later!

Tuesday, January 08, 2008 12:03:22 AM (Atlantic Standard Time, UTC-04:00)    Comments [2] | 

This semester has flown by so fast that I can't believe Thanksgiving break is next week.  Unfortunately, I don't get a break.  I get to work on Thanksgiving and the day after (so long Black Friday deals) then I have clinical Saturday and Sunday...48 hours in a hospital over the break...oh wow, how does one deal with that? 

Don't get me started on the presentation I have the week after.  Somehow I have to find the time to complete that (thank goodness I already started it).  Anyhoo, then there's the last minute assignments, blah blah blah...

Please do not think that I am complaining (guess I kinda am) but this is my LAST semester at Lourdes.  In one month I will be free of clinicals, APA formatted papers, exams, and just plain school.  I am burned out.  That's what it is. I am to the point that I don't even remotely care about what grades I get anymore, I just want to be DONE. 

Nursing school is the hardest thing I think I've ever done. I never imagined that it would be like this my final semester, being so stressed and pushed to the point of breaking and committing myself, straight jacket and all.  The work in and of itself is not challenging, it is the amount.  There are all sorts of papers, from scholarly papers to clinical papers, presentations, NCLEX review hours, blah blah blah. OMG, I can't take it much longer. 

For those of you who are in the early stages of the program or are thinking about going into nursing, I am going to be completely honest with you.  Nothing can prepare you for your final semester.  Nothing.  I don't care how much you prepare for NCLEX or how organized you are, that will all go out the window.  You will just want to get finished and get out.  Seriously.  I am not lying.  My class looks like a bunch of zombies--we sit, we stare, we listen, we don't comprehend, we don't care, we want out.  That is the reality of it. 

It is definitely rewarding when you take care of patients and feel like you're gaining confidence in your nursing skills.  But that's clinical.  The actual theory portion of the courses is anything but stimulating and you really begin to feel like you're Charlie Brown listening to his teacher--"Wah wah wah wah..." 

I am not putting down the nursing program.  I am saying that it is hard and it will make or break you, and once you are at the end, you just want it to be done. 

And I want to be done already!

Thursday, November 15, 2007 4:31:44 PM (Atlantic Standard Time, UTC-04:00)    Comments [0] | 

We've all received the e-mail regarding no food and drink in the WIN Center anymore.  I can't argue about the decision, but I can argue that one person really spoiled it for the whole college.

Yesterday morning, I arrived at the WIN Center to use a room I reserved for group work.  One of my group members began using the computer in the room and all of a sudden, 60 (yes--60) Internet Explorers opened up.  OMG, what was going on?  I ran out of the room and grabbed Chrissy, bless her, and she was about as astonished as I was.  IT was called, and when that gal came in, the computer was making an awful noise.  Needless to say, my group had to switch rooms.

A short while later, Christine comes into our room and tells us that someone using our original room had spilled something on the brand new wireless keyboard and that was causing the problem, therefore, no more food and drink will be allowed in the WIN Center.  Seriously, if the person accidentally damaged the equipment, why didn't they say something to the staff about it?  This whole thing could have been avoided. 

Lots of students use the WIN Center.  Lots of students are there for hours at a time.  If I could make a suggestion, why don't they make a rule where you can only bring in beverages that are in bottles (if the cap is on and it's knocked over, it won't leak).  Also, if you damage somethink accidentally, step up and say you did it.  Don't be ashamed, accidents happen. 

So I spent most of my time yesterday wandering in and out of the WIN Center to get something to drink.  Not only did that take away my study time, but it also caused me to run into people I know, which I talked to, which further took away from my study time, you get the point.  It's a poor argument, but I'm sure something could be done to ammend the new rule. 

What do you think about this?

Friday, November 09, 2007 10:16:06 AM (Atlantic Standard Time, UTC-04:00)    Comments [8] | 

It's amazing what a little blog will do, isn't it?  I never DREAMED or IMAGINED the responses I would generate regarding my position on PRISM.  I looked back through all of the blogs so far and this one has gotten the most response--guess I hit a nerve there. 

I will not apologize, as those of you who have so vehemently responded should not apologize.  I would however like to say that I think these discussions are taking away from what lourdesworld is supposed to be about.  Yes, it is a place for students and faculty and alumni to discuss our Lourdes experience and say what is on our minds, but this whole discussion I started is becoming WAY too political and heated for this website.  It is time for me to focus on other issues, though I have thoroughly enjoyed reading everyone's responses.  Many have infuriated me but at the same time I have a full and renewed appreciation for other people's opinions. 

This debate could continue until the cows come home, so I am respecting everyone's opinion and agreeing to disagree. 

Wednesday, October 31, 2007 9:18:45 AM (Atlantic Standard Time, UTC-04:00)    Comments [0] | 

My life has been a whirlwind of tests, papers, clinicals, work, arguments with my fiance, and lack of time management for the past week.  Needless to say, I have not been so privy as to the controversy over PRISM.

I am not gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered.  I am a heterosexual female, a CATHOLIC one at that.  I was raised in Catholic grade schools and high schools, all with the ideas of homosexuality being wrong.  I have grown up with several friends, all Catholic, who came out within the last ten years.  For one of those friends, one of my best friends at that, it has been hard on him because of his faith.  We were taught that homosexuality is wrong, it is punishable by God, it is not spoken of, it is the worst possible thing that you could do to sleep with someone of the same gender. 

NEWS FLASH:  This is 2007.

I watched Sheena's interview on the news and all I can think of regarding the issue is way to go for standing up for what you believe in. 

I also want to give Sr. Ann Carmen two big thumbs up for her support of this organization as well. 

As Catholics, and as Christians, we are taught to love thy neighbor.  Treat others how you want to be treated.  It should not matter what your age, race, gender, or sexuality is.  God and Jesus love us all.  Not once have I ever read in the Bible that only straight people will be accepted into God's Kingdom.  Nor have I ever thought that anyone was ever given the authority to preach the Word of God in a way that conveys hate.  I was disgusted and disappointed that the alumnus of Lourdes interviewed in that news piece was so close-minded and the way he spoke of homosexuals was filled with such hatred.  Judge lest ye be judged. 

We are not being forced to belong to PRISM.  We have a choice.  Just as we have a choice to belong to the clubs that focus on ethnicity, diversity, and education.  As a student organization it has every right to be publicized.  But publicizing it negatively is wrong.  One could say that the Latino Student Union isn't a fair organization because it focuses on Latino heritage.  No one does, though.  People only raise a stink when it comes to something they are afraid of.

I'm sorry, but I am all for having a GLBT group on campus.  What a way to embrace diversity.  Do people actually think that homosexuals do not attend Catholic colleges?  Think again!  I have had the pleasure of knowing several during my six years at Lourdes.  The GLBT should be looked at positively and should not be condemned. 

Okay, now that I've gotten off of my soapbox, I'm gonna sit back and wait for that first stone to be cast....

Tuesday, October 23, 2007 10:41:06 PM (Atlantic Standard Time, UTC-04:00)    Comments [18] | 

Apparently, I have not. 

In this final semester of nursing school, I find myself consistently behind, never ahead, but never too far behind that I can't catch up.  What is a girl to do?  Well, consider a typical week:  School on Wednesday and Thursday, along with a clinical every other Thursday morning, work 7a-7p Friday and Saturday, clincal 7a-7p on Sundays, and then catching up on sleep and homework on Monday and Tuesday.  I don't know how people do it.  How do people do it who have kids and other things besides work and school and a significant other?  Do they just not sleep?  What is the secret?

I'm trying to get myself on a schedule, but goodness gracious, that is hard.  After doing three 12 hour shifts in a row, homework does not sound like much fun.  Not that it ever sounds like fun, it's just that to find the motivation, it is nearly impossible. 

Nursing school is a real trip.  The road you take has a lot of bumps--there is no smooth sailing unless you have no other commitments and you can devote your entire life to studying and schoolwork.  For the majority of the people, that is not the case.  How to manage your entire life while in nursing school is something that I have not been able to do in 4 1/2 years.  I NEED NORMALCY!!!

What exactly is normalcy anyway?  I have been without it for so long that I couldn't tell you what it's like to even have a taste of it.  Papers, clinicals, homework, NCLEX review, plus work and everything else leaves me and most of my classmates in a constant state of chaos.  But it is so worth it.  I am going into such a rewarding career that all of the work and messiness and bull that I have put up will all be worth it.  So I have two more months of this tornado of a lifestyle.  I haven't been able to master the art of time management yet, and I don't think it's going to happen in the next 8 weeks.  Oh, well.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007 11:05:41 PM (Atlantic Standard Time, UTC-04:00)    Comments [0] | 

I'm horrible horrible horrible!!! Before I continue to spaz, let me just say that Sheena's blog about living in Toledo was a trip down memory lane--great list, by the way!

Ok, now onto the spazzing.  How hard is it to keep up with writing a blog once a week?  That's once every seven days, once every 168 hours, once every 10,080 minutes, ok you get the picture. 

I just can't believe how busy I am this semester and it's only the third week.  Work, clinicals, school, homework, oh my!  How do people with families and full time jobs do it? Do they ever sleep?  I'm getting very used to that, as evidenced by the fact I am writing this at 1:30 in the morning.

I must be a queen at time management suckage because I feel like I have no time to get anything of importance accomplished.  I'm not being lazy, I just have other stuff going on and that other stuff takes precedence over OTHER other stuff...oh boy.  I am not a Prioritizing Princess by any means. 

So what can I do? I want to get a good night's sleep for one.  And for two, I want to stop waking up in the middle of the night in a panic thinking that I'm late for something, or I forgot to do something.  Oh the insanity!

Oh, yeah.  I also want to curl up into the tightest fetal position a big girl can get herself into and cry sometimes.  But I can't. I won't.  I will get through this.  This is my last semester and I refuse to have a full nervous breakdown.  (Although I've had partial ones that were more cathartic than anything...) 

Who hasn't felt this way in their final semester?  Name me one person who has not felt like they are carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders three months before they complete their college degree.  I don't know anyone who isn't like me right now.  My classmates and I are freaking out.  This is reality setting in, the home stretch of our nine innings...

I can't help but feel all of these emotions--this is what I've been working for for 6 years at Lourdes.  I am so ready, but I am so afraid and overwhelmed. 

Thank goodness for chocolate!

Tuesday, September 11, 2007 1:40:15 AM (Atlantic Standard Time, UTC-04:00)    Comments [0] | 

On Wednesday I return to Lourdes for my final semester.  Holy cow, this will all be over soon!  I have been at Lourdes for almost six wonderful years.  I really mean that they were wonderful, honestly, I swear!  Going here has been such a positive experience that I would recommend Lourdes to anyone. 

Don't get me wrong--there have been ups and downs, but Lourdes has been my home for nearly all of my twenties.  It's been like a parent.  I've cried here, laughed here, ran from here, done it all here just to return and finish my degree.]

This semester will be particularly rough.  I'm balancing work, school, and clinical again, only this time around I have to complete 100 hours of clinical work for one course, then there is still clinical for the other course.  Not to mention taking the HESI test, preparing for the NCLEX and doing all the other required homework, papers, and projects.  I'm stressing just thinking about it.  I am so Type A.

Anyhoo, the cool thing is that after December, I will be finished.  This is the last semester of doing all of the work (although eventually I will torture myself and pursue my Masters Degree).  It's hard to believe it's here, finally, after all this time.  My final semester at Lourdes will definitely challenge every part of my being.  But I am so looking forward to it. 

Monday, August 27, 2007 12:36:45 AM (Atlantic Standard Time, UTC-04:00)    Comments [1] | 

And I'm not talking about some sort of illicit employment. 

I got a job.  A real job.  Sayonara, doctor's office that I have loathed for the past five years.  Hello, St. V's.

I landed my dream job.  Oh, I am cloud nine right now.  And it's been two weeks since I've found out I got the job.  YAY!!!

It has been my mission since April to get into St. V's.  I love that hospital.  I had a clinical rotation there this past winter and fell in love with the place.  The nurses I worked with were outstanding and the atmosphere is awesome.  So I applied.  Three times to be exact.  And I finally got a call last month for an interview.  Needless to say, that went perfectly swell, and here I am, about to start orientation in 9 hours!

I want to be an ICU nurse when I grow up.  That is, when I graduate in a few short months, I want to be on an ICU floor.  This job is my foot in the door.  You are now formally introduced to me, Kim, the new Advanced Nursing Assistant of the med/surg ICU.  There is a God!

Getting my foot in the door at a major hospital is a plus.  I would recommend any nursing student who has gotten passed Basic Skills to work at one.  You get a ton of experience that you would never get in just a regular nursing clinical. 

Now to the bad part:  I am working 7pm to 7am.  Twice a week.  That's not bad, but it will be a HUGE adjustment since I am not accustomed to staying up all night.  It'll work out.  I am not too concerned about. I am just excited!!!

Sunday, August 05, 2007 11:11:35 PM (Atlantic Standard Time, UTC-04:00)    Comments [3] | 

I also went to get the new Harry Potter book, but I am a nerd and a HUGE fan...yes, sadly, at 28 years old, I get all of a dither when new Harry Potter movies or books are released. 

I saw the midnight premiere of the fifth movie and found it to be so stripped down that I was disappointed, the movie did not do the book justice.

I went to Borders for the midnight release of the final book, and oh my goodness it was pure madness.  People were out for blood!  I had a woman talk to me like I was five and I told her that I didn't appreciate it and she got all rude about it...there were some real oddballs characters as well, and this is besides the usual folks who insist on dressing like they are from the Ministry of Magic.  These are people who apparently have no lives and attach to the first person that will talk to them.  I had one such person trailing me through the store, peering at me like she was Mad-Eye Moody and that was quite uncomfortable.

My friends and I were in the third group to get the book--we had these special color-coded bracelets, and I think that by the scarcity of them they were worth galleons--people were all upset because they had not been able to receive one, and if they did, they were in the last color group, which meant they had to wait for nearly the whole city of Toledo to get their books first.

We actually made it out of there before 1am--minutes before 1am--and I was truly shocked.  It seemed like ages and ages that we waited in line until we finally made it to our pot of gold. 

I finished the book yesterday.  Over three days I read the entire 759 pages out loud to my fiancee (he's got a vision issue and he really liked the way I read) and ended up with a sore throat, but it was so worth it.  Who lives? Who dies?  Hallows or Horcruxes? 

You'll have to read it to find out!

Tuesday, July 24, 2007 1:01:10 PM (Atlantic Standard Time, UTC-04:00)    Comments [1] | 

Tomorrow is the last day of class for Nursing Research...can I get an "AMEN!" please? 

What a trip this course has been.  I started off great--on time with my online discussion board posts, one of my papers actually finished 48 hours before it's due...

Now it's down to the wire.  I have a group presentation tomorrow, nothing too difficult, however, I, along with Sheena, have been procratinating.  Badly.  I just posted my last online discussion board thingy, and now I'm onto the final questions of the semester--you know, the really thought-provoking ones that are supposed to bear your sould and make you realize that nursing research is the path in life you want to take?

Ok, I just printed out my PowerPoint presentation, and wait a second...I think something is burning....I'll BRB.

(10 minutes later...)So much for relying on my dad to take my pan cookie out of  the oven!  It's 11 o'clock at night and I have a burned pan cookie!  Those were my goodies for tomorrow to entice my classmates to listen to our non-mind-blowing presentation!  How is this possible??? I messed up a pan cookie for crying out loud???

So much for multi-tasking.  :>)~

Monday, July 16, 2007 11:11:20 PM (Atlantic Standard Time, UTC-04:00)    Comments [0] | 

This summer I went back to the job I've worked at off and on for five years.  Each time I go back I question myself. Why did I return to the place that causes so much stress in my life?  The answer is simple:  I need the money.  Unfortunately, I also go to school full time so things get quite chaotic.  I work, I go to school, I go to bed, I get up and do it all over again.  Not to mention that I get up at 5am to hit the gym before I start my day, so I get very sleep deprived.  I feel like I really have no life. 

I'm not trying to be all woe is me, but this situation gets frustrating.  It seems like I have time for little else than work and school.  It seems like I deprive my fiancee, my family, and my friends.  It seems like all my days run together.  But it's all worth it.

There are many times that I go through this frustration with trying to keep my priorities in line.  School has taken precedence over anything else, and that has caused the people in my life to feel ignored.  No one understands the work that goes into getting a degree unless they've been there.  It's a balancing act.  Work, school, family, friends...what's more important at this point? For me it's school. 

Unfortunately, the people in my life have a hard time with this reality.  Four years of this takes a toll on everyone.  Between clinicals, classes, and working, it's very easy to dismiss the people closest to you.  There is only so much time in a day, and working toward a degree takes up a lot of that time. 

I've been going after my RN/BSN for almost five years and the light at the end of the tunnel is finally getting brighter.  In December I'll have my degree, something I thought would just keep eluding me.  Now it's here.  In less than six months, all my hard work will pay off.  And it's been worth it. 

The rewards of getting my degree in nursing outweigh the frustrations by tons.  I am so close that I can't let these frustrations bother me as much.  I need to keep chugging along, like Dory in "Finding Nemo" I need to just keep swimming, just keep swimming.  I'm almost there. 

Friday, July 13, 2007 12:46:44 AM (Atlantic Standard Time, UTC-04:00)    Comments [0] |