Tomorrow my college life will officially be over, thus far.  I don't really know what to think about the whole thing, except that I am overjoyed.  It's hard to express what I feel at this moment because of all of the different emotions pouring out of my heart right now. 

I am the first person to graduate from college in my family.  And boy, is my family proud.  It's almost embarassing, really.  Just last night at dinner, my parents and grandparents carried on to the server about how I'm a nurse, I went to Lourdes, my commencement is tomorrow, yadda yadda.  I sat there with my head down at first, but then I thought, "accept the fact that they are proud!" It's embarassing at times, but I wallow in it. It feels good to have someone share your pride.  And to feed it a little bit, too.

I come from a blue collar family.  My dad's a plumber.  Grandpa was a truck driver, Nana was a bank teller.  My mom works at a fabric store.  My brother delivers medical equipment.  And here I am, a nurse, with a Bachelor's degree.  The very first in my family.  And I couldn't happier. 

This is leaps and bounds from where I came from. I was a wild child.  To look at me, you would not guess that, but everyone has their skeletons in the closet.  I went through a lot of rough spots at the end of high school and got in with the wrong crowd.  I was stuck in a downward spiral for several years, making my life and my family's lives living hell until I decided I'd had enough. 

I started at a community college in the fall of 2000 and got straight A's.  By that fall, I transferred to Lourdes and was going to be a teacher.  Well, we all know that was not meant to be, because here I am, almost 7 years later with a degree in nursing. 

The road was long and bumpy, it seemed I had setback after setback.  One step forward, two steps back, I used to say.  But I perservered.  And even though I didn't make it into the honors' society and I wasn't one of the people who received awards for being great, I know, deep down, that I am great.  And I am honored.  I did the best that I could.  Knowing that means more than any plaque or vocal recognition.  

So when tomorrow comes, I will proudly walk across the Sea Gate Center stage and accept my certificate from Dr. Helmer with pride. I am proud of myself.  For the first time in my life I can say that and it feels good. 

 Today, despite my vow to not step foot onto campus until next fall, I came in to eat lunch with a delegation of social workers from the Ukraine. Yes, I was partially lured by the thought of free food, I readily admit. But also, I was fascinated with the prospect of learning something about another country from people who live and work within it's boundaries, especially a country with such history. I was not disappointed. While I did not interact with the social workers beyond an introduction, I was able to listen to the questions they have about how things work here, and as I watched their expressions, I could see that some aspects of our country and its' systems really floored them in some ways. For example, they didn't seem to quite grasp that we don't have orphans, orphanages - that grandparents often step in to raise children, and that single parenthood is fairly common. From listening in to them, orphans are a huge part of what they deal with as social workers.

 They also have an age limit to foster parents - 55 - and they asked why Americans were so eager to adopt out of country but not adopt within our own systems (great question, by the way). They seemed surprised by how many people we have incarcerated, and by the fact that children are part of that number. They are the pioneers in some ways of their social services - social services in the Ukraine are in the infancy stage, and these social workers were very eager with their questions about our relatively long-established systems. I wish I could have stayed longer, but unfortunately, I had to leave during some really great discussion.

 You know why I love Lourdes? Because of stuff like this. I saw this as a once in a lifetime opportunity and I wasn't about to miss it. Even just seeing how translators work was a new experience for me (OK, I am not very worldly). Joyce Litten gave a wonderful presentation on the current philosophy and policies surrounding family preservation in this country, and while some of it I knew, some of it I didn't - I felt like I should have been taking notes. I missed the other presentations, but I can assume that they were very good as well.

 I'm glad I went. I feel like I learned quite a bit by being there (and the food was good, too!).

    As I stated in a previous blog, I am a strong opponent of censorship in almost every situation. It is hard for me to imagine a situation in which I approve of it. There are many reasons for my objection to it, not the least of which is that it tends to be counterproductive and results in more strongly felt anger and resentment. All we can do is hope that people will be concerned about the feelings of others and know that as they don't want to have "stuff" tossed around about them, those on the receiving end of their words have feelings too. Hurt often ends up causing hurt and, in the end, two people are hurt. That is about all that is "accomplished" and that is an accomplishment that I can do without.

 Dale

I do not know the content of the blog that was censored. Generally, I am strongly opposed to censoring material. I do know that I have heard on a number of occasions over the past couple of weeks an accusation involving conduct in the recent student government election. I also know that some are upset that in their view nothing, or not enough, was done in response to the charges made. NOTHING can be done in response to accusations that are not documented. No one came forward with any evidence other than "I heard that......" and that is not evidence. Blogs are not evidence. Those of us involved with looking into the charges asked those making the charges for written documentation from those in classes in which the alleged misconduct occurred. Nothing to my knowledge was presented. If there was something done along the lines of that charged then certainly serious investigation was warranted. But, constant, continuous informal chatting about alleged misdoings accomplishes nothing and eventually becomes counterproductive, at best, and destructive, at worst.

 I would hope that all involved would trust those of us who have been consistently supportive to act prudently, fairly and justly. We can only act based on what is presented to us in an appropriate manner. I would hope that all involved would understand that and that anger and disappointment will not result in a never-ending campaign of stinging words and accusations.

Once again, if there is evidence of misconduct, document it and present it in a professional, well written manner. If done, I know that I will view it in an unbiased, objective manner. However, if that is not done, I will look upon the continued talk as little more than idle griping which will result in nothing productive and which, to be completely frank, will be ignored by people who have a lot of other things to focus their attention on. If misconduct occurred, it is important that we get to the bottom of it. However, the current course of action will more than likely result in this ending up in the bottom of a trash can. 

Dale

Friends In Nursing is a new Alumni LourdesWorld blogger! Welcome Friends In Nursing!

Yes - this may be my last blog at LourdesWorld . 

For those of you who subscribe to my posts, you have already read my latest blog.  For those of you who don't - sorry, you missed out.  The College has censored my blog and placed it "under review". 

Last summer, I took an internship with College Relations to help launch LourdesWorld .  As you can clearly see, it has been a great success. 

When working with "The Webmaster", I expressed my concerns about potential censorship from the College.  Students would be less likely to blog if they knew that the College could censor anything that was written.  A Blog Contract was written for all bloggers.  Basically, the College was allowed to censor blogs if they contained vulgar language, pornographic images, or threatened a member of the Lourdes College community. 

My last blog was pulled because of "defamation of character". 

How many people have been "talked about" on these blogs?  Bush, McCain, Clinton, Obama, Elvis, Chris Matthews, Steven Siegel, Senator Craig, Lourdes College faculty members, Lourdes College staff members, Lourdes College students, and Lourdes College student organizations. 

My latest blog did not mention anyone by name.  It did not even elude to the sex of the individual. 

Well, I guess we'll see where this goes.  It might not be a pretty thing to watch.  Until then, you can catch up on any of my other blogs on the web.

   It all seems so pointless when we spend countless hours hard at work for a grade but it will all be well worth it come graduation!  Give yourself a pat on the back for makin it through the semester.

   Examine the opportunities, the challenges you’ve given yourself.  - Michael Johnson

I suppose that sooner or later it would dawn on me that I've been out of touch with the "real" world for some time now.  I just found out last night that John McCain is not running against anyone, that's why the focus is on Hillary and Obama right now.  Not that I'm one to follow politics, I sway neither Republican nor Democrat, I vote the person who has a better platform.  Now, this all hit me last night while watching the 11pm news following CSI:Miami, which I apparently have not caught up on lately as one of the characters left the show and I knew nothing about it. 

My dad said, "Yeah, it was on the previews from last week."

I replied, "When did the writer's strike end?"

I guess that's what happens when you essentially live, eat, and breathe hospital.  Most people assume that on a day off one would kick back and watch TV, catch up on their soap opera, be a couch potato.  Not me.  I get out of the house.  I drive to different places around northwest Ohio and southeast Michigan and I enjoy the fantastic weather.  And I try to get some sleep.  I am caught up in things other than what is really going on this world.  Except gas prices.  You can't ignore that no matter how hard you try. 

So I came up with a plan: 

1.  Read the newspaper.  Even though the Blade's proofreading leaves little to be desired, I vow to partake in it long enough to get in touch with the goings on around here.

2.  Utilize my DVR more often.  That way I really can spend a day being a couch potato.  I can't tell you the last time I watched Top Chef or Hell's Kitchen the same week they aired. 

3.  Click on the top stories on the AOL homepage when I check my email.  That way I can get in touch with some of the more tabloid aspects of life. 

Whether or not these will work, I don't know.  But maybe I should focus a little less on the fact that I live, eat, and breathe hospital. 

Dear Campus Community,

The 2008 TAU has been posted on current students/student life. Now that the semester is drawing to a rapid close, I hope you will take the time to read it. It contains some stories, some essays, and some poems. All have been written by Lourdes students, staff, or faculty. There is a great diversity of theme, so there should be something satisfying for everyone.

The TAU is published every spring by the Language and Literature Department. We accept manuscripts at the beginning of second semester, and we publish during National Poetry Month (April). If you like to write, think about submitting next year.

If you would like to discuss any of the readings, add your comments here. We can have a kind of on-line book club going.

Enjoy,

Nancy

My question today is....

Do you believe that the officals had the right to remove over 400 children from their homes? What should now happen to all those children that have been placed into foster care?

Please give me your feed back on this issue that is happening in the news now.

Thanks!

Dawn Marie

I am so tired right now!  I've been on nights now for two weeks and it's been a difficult transition so far.  It's 11:45am right now and I got off work at 3:30am.  I was up at 9am.  And I haven't been back to sleep.  So here I am, staring bleary-eyed at a computer monitor in an almost catatonic state.  I was on the day shift for four months and detested getting up before the sun came out.  I never really got used to that at all.  I had the opportunity to switch to nights at the end of April and I jumped at it.  I'm used to late nights in a hospital.  There is a different atmosphere on nights, I guess.  For instance, the lights are turned down low, patients are bathed and readied for bed, and it's quieter.  Most nights. 

For me, nights are the best time to learn as a new nurse because you have time to sit with your preceptor and pick their brains.  You can gain so much knowledge from your preceptors and co-workers because nights are so much more relaxed (for the most part)and you don't have to worry about catching the doctors or dealing with visitors or the regular hustle and bustle that exists during the day.  At night you can sit back (if your patients are stable) and discuss your patient with your preceptor and really get a grip on the whole critical thinking aspect of nursing. 

In two weeks on nights I have learned how to view brain hemorrhages on a CT scan, how to draw blood off of an arterial line, how check a cardiac index on a Swan, what a proper CVP waveform looks like and how to troubleshoot a bad waveform, how to recognize an aortic aneurysm on a CT, what a procedure called a Whipple is, and how to call doctors on the phone and not make them upset because I'm calling about something little.  I've also perfected the art of giving a bed bath in under 15 minutes while completing my midnight assessment.  What accomplishments!

I also like nights because that's when I think a lot of excitement happens.  New admits come in who aren't stable, and the unit I'm on now gets the traumas, surgeries, and just about anything else that is critical.  The patients could potentially crash at any given moment and to me it's all very exciting--I like the adrenaline rush of having someone's life in your hands.  It's very fast-paced when a new admit comes.  There are about 10 people helping out, with someone documenting, someone else is getting supplies, several people are getting the patient moved onto the bed, and various people are hooking the patient up to the monitor, changing the linens, running the ventilator, cleaning up messes, hooking up IV lines and drips, and so on.  There's a lot going on in a limited amount of space and it's all exciting to me.

There are other nights when nothing is going on and it's all I can do to stay awake.  I've developed a caffeine habit that consists of Red Bull and coffee.  I hate coffee.  But it keeps me up as long as I put in a boat load of cream and sugar.  I get the yawns around 3am.  Between 3 and 5 I am a zombie.  I caught myself nodding off while charting my assessment last week.  In order to stay awake, I take a brisk walk down the hall or I do a few jumping jacks (not in front of everyone, but I go to the bathroom or the supply room and do them).  Then there are some nights that, regardless of what I do, I am either wired or exhausted and there's no way around it.  Nurses have it rough at night because we are constantly fighting our own bodies' response to Circadian rhythms.  Most people's bodies are not used to staying up through the night, and mine is certainly no exception. 

So while I love nights I hate the fact that I am not sleeping a lot during the day.  It'll take some time to get used to, but I can deal with it.  I'll have to regardless because almost all new nurses get put on the night shift after orientation anyway. 

Time to get back to bed.