Tomorrow my college life will officially be over, thus far.  I don't really know what to think about the whole thing, except that I am overjoyed.  It's hard to express what I feel at this moment because of all of the different emotions pouring out of my heart right now. 

I am the first person to graduate from college in my family.  And boy, is my family proud.  It's almost embarassing, really.  Just last night at dinner, my parents and grandparents carried on to the server about how I'm a nurse, I went to Lourdes, my commencement is tomorrow, yadda yadda.  I sat there with my head down at first, but then I thought, "accept the fact that they are proud!" It's embarassing at times, but I wallow in it. It feels good to have someone share your pride.  And to feed it a little bit, too.

I come from a blue collar family.  My dad's a plumber.  Grandpa was a truck driver, Nana was a bank teller.  My mom works at a fabric store.  My brother delivers medical equipment.  And here I am, a nurse, with a Bachelor's degree.  The very first in my family.  And I couldn't happier. 

This is leaps and bounds from where I came from. I was a wild child.  To look at me, you would not guess that, but everyone has their skeletons in the closet.  I went through a lot of rough spots at the end of high school and got in with the wrong crowd.  I was stuck in a downward spiral for several years, making my life and my family's lives living hell until I decided I'd had enough. 

I started at a community college in the fall of 2000 and got straight A's.  By that fall, I transferred to Lourdes and was going to be a teacher.  Well, we all know that was not meant to be, because here I am, almost 7 years later with a degree in nursing. 

The road was long and bumpy, it seemed I had setback after setback.  One step forward, two steps back, I used to say.  But I perservered.  And even though I didn't make it into the honors' society and I wasn't one of the people who received awards for being great, I know, deep down, that I am great.  And I am honored.  I did the best that I could.  Knowing that means more than any plaque or vocal recognition.  

So when tomorrow comes, I will proudly walk across the Sea Gate Center stage and accept my certificate from Dr. Helmer with pride. I am proud of myself.  For the first time in my life I can say that and it feels good. 

Friday, May 16, 2008 3:15:37 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [3] | 

Congratulations Nursing Graduates!

I am writing to wish you all the very best and congratulate you on your outstanding achievement! It has been a pleasure working with all of you!

The Friends in Nursing blog is a way for you to stay connected with one another and share your nursing stories. Let us know when you pass your board exam as well as how you are doing in your nursing career.

Additionally, this blog will have Lourdes College Nursing Alumni who will act as "mentors" for you. They will assist and guide you through your first few years as a new nurse, if you desire. If you have any questions, concerns, or just feel overwhelmed as a new nurse....please post a note. If you would like to share your positive nursing stories....please do so as well.

The Friends in Nursing Blog was set up for you....to assist you as you transition into your new career!

On behalf of Lourdes College, and in the Franciscan tradition, we wish you “Peace and All Good” in your new journey.

Sincerely,

Julie Kruse

Tuesday, May 13, 2008 3:11:19 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [3] | 

Friends In Nursing is a new Alumni LourdesWorld blogger! Welcome Friends In Nursing!

Tuesday, May 13, 2008 9:15:10 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] | 

I suppose that sooner or later it would dawn on me that I've been out of touch with the "real" world for some time now.  I just found out last night that John McCain is not running against anyone, that's why the focus is on Hillary and Obama right now.  Not that I'm one to follow politics, I sway neither Republican nor Democrat, I vote the person who has a better platform.  Now, this all hit me last night while watching the 11pm news following CSI:Miami, which I apparently have not caught up on lately as one of the characters left the show and I knew nothing about it. 

My dad said, "Yeah, it was on the previews from last week."

I replied, "When did the writer's strike end?"

I guess that's what happens when you essentially live, eat, and breathe hospital.  Most people assume that on a day off one would kick back and watch TV, catch up on their soap opera, be a couch potato.  Not me.  I get out of the house.  I drive to different places around northwest Ohio and southeast Michigan and I enjoy the fantastic weather.  And I try to get some sleep.  I am caught up in things other than what is really going on this world.  Except gas prices.  You can't ignore that no matter how hard you try. 

So I came up with a plan: 

1.  Read the newspaper.  Even though the Blade's proofreading leaves little to be desired, I vow to partake in it long enough to get in touch with the goings on around here.

2.  Utilize my DVR more often.  That way I really can spend a day being a couch potato.  I can't tell you the last time I watched Top Chef or Hell's Kitchen the same week they aired. 

3.  Click on the top stories on the AOL homepage when I check my email.  That way I can get in touch with some of the more tabloid aspects of life. 

Whether or not these will work, I don't know.  But maybe I should focus a little less on the fact that I live, eat, and breathe hospital. 

Tuesday, May 06, 2008 5:19:59 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [1] | 

I am so tired right now!  I've been on nights now for two weeks and it's been a difficult transition so far.  It's 11:45am right now and I got off work at 3:30am.  I was up at 9am.  And I haven't been back to sleep.  So here I am, staring bleary-eyed at a computer monitor in an almost catatonic state.  I was on the day shift for four months and detested getting up before the sun came out.  I never really got used to that at all.  I had the opportunity to switch to nights at the end of April and I jumped at it.  I'm used to late nights in a hospital.  There is a different atmosphere on nights, I guess.  For instance, the lights are turned down low, patients are bathed and readied for bed, and it's quieter.  Most nights. 

For me, nights are the best time to learn as a new nurse because you have time to sit with your preceptor and pick their brains.  You can gain so much knowledge from your preceptors and co-workers because nights are so much more relaxed (for the most part)and you don't have to worry about catching the doctors or dealing with visitors or the regular hustle and bustle that exists during the day.  At night you can sit back (if your patients are stable) and discuss your patient with your preceptor and really get a grip on the whole critical thinking aspect of nursing. 

In two weeks on nights I have learned how to view brain hemorrhages on a CT scan, how to draw blood off of an arterial line, how check a cardiac index on a Swan, what a proper CVP waveform looks like and how to troubleshoot a bad waveform, how to recognize an aortic aneurysm on a CT, what a procedure called a Whipple is, and how to call doctors on the phone and not make them upset because I'm calling about something little.  I've also perfected the art of giving a bed bath in under 15 minutes while completing my midnight assessment.  What accomplishments!

I also like nights because that's when I think a lot of excitement happens.  New admits come in who aren't stable, and the unit I'm on now gets the traumas, surgeries, and just about anything else that is critical.  The patients could potentially crash at any given moment and to me it's all very exciting--I like the adrenaline rush of having someone's life in your hands.  It's very fast-paced when a new admit comes.  There are about 10 people helping out, with someone documenting, someone else is getting supplies, several people are getting the patient moved onto the bed, and various people are hooking the patient up to the monitor, changing the linens, running the ventilator, cleaning up messes, hooking up IV lines and drips, and so on.  There's a lot going on in a limited amount of space and it's all exciting to me.

There are other nights when nothing is going on and it's all I can do to stay awake.  I've developed a caffeine habit that consists of Red Bull and coffee.  I hate coffee.  But it keeps me up as long as I put in a boat load of cream and sugar.  I get the yawns around 3am.  Between 3 and 5 I am a zombie.  I caught myself nodding off while charting my assessment last week.  In order to stay awake, I take a brisk walk down the hall or I do a few jumping jacks (not in front of everyone, but I go to the bathroom or the supply room and do them).  Then there are some nights that, regardless of what I do, I am either wired or exhausted and there's no way around it.  Nurses have it rough at night because we are constantly fighting our own bodies' response to Circadian rhythms.  Most people's bodies are not used to staying up through the night, and mine is certainly no exception. 

So while I love nights I hate the fact that I am not sleeping a lot during the day.  It'll take some time to get used to, but I can deal with it.  I'll have to regardless because almost all new nurses get put on the night shift after orientation anyway. 

Time to get back to bed.

Saturday, May 03, 2008 11:05:06 AM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] | 

It is absolutely beautiful outside and I am stuck in a basement computer room at the hospital working on my ECCO (Essentials of Critical Care Orientation).  Yes, I should be paying attention, but it's a web-based program that has a voice with a speech impediment.  Not that I am knocking anyone who has one, but to listen to a woman with a weird New England-type accent mispronounce words for roughly four hours at a time--I mean, really, come on now.

I am counting down the hours--it's been about 2 1/2 and I have another 1 1/2 to go, but there are so many better things I could be doing right now.  Like being outside.  And going for a cruise.  And getting some ice cream from some little hole in the wall roadside place.  And walking through a park.  And feeding some ducks/geese.  And I could go on and on, but alas I will not as this blog could easily become a list of the things I would do right now if I were not stuck in this room the size of a broom closet. 

And I digress...

I just finished my rotation on another unit this week and on Monday I start anew yet again.  Only now I'm on nights.  Yippee ki ay.  And yes, there is a lot of sarcastic enthusiasm there.  But I guess it's not that bad.  It's really the issue of working on the unit from 7p-3a and then sitting in front of a computer from 3a-7a to work on ECCO.  I tried it for an hour yesterday morning and I was ready to curl up in an empty hospital bed somewhere.  So I left and have to make up my hours on my day off.  Sure, I was off yesterday, but my plans to be here were thwarted by the fact that I had to drive to Findlay to pick up my brother from the hospital (nothing serious).  So that took up a few minutes of my time.  Then, he was hungry, had to return something to Best Buy, yadda yadda, and I'm like, seriously dude, you got a shot of morphine so let's get you home.  When all was said and done, I had no time left to come here. 

But here I am today.  And I'm so over it already.  Being alone in this room with nothing but a computer (cell phones don't work down here) really makes a person's thoughts wander. 

I have to make a hair appointment. 

Will the hospital track me down if they find out I'm surfing bored.com?  

Why doesn't environmental services come and clean up this room more often? 

I can't believe that I missed Top Chef this week. 

Did I set my DVR for Degrassi tonight? 

I'm hungry. 

I think I will bring in some pictures to hang on these stark white walls.  Maybe one of a kitten and one of the Care Bears. 

I wonder how old the printer in here is? 

I miss my dude.  

Oh oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh oh, the right stuff... 

Why is it that you can't get a fabulous cell phone signal in the Franklin Park Mall? 

I think I have to use the restroom.  Maybe not.

We can dance if we want to, we can leave your friends behind...

It's nonstop random thoughts.  How does one deal?  Maybe I should just go back to listening so I can get it done.  There's a thought!

Friday, April 25, 2008 2:37:09 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [2] | 

If you were anywhere near Sylvania, Ohio last week, you may have sensed a great deal of energy – especially on the campus of the Sisters of St. Francis. About ninety members of our congregation gathered for our once-every-four-years General Chapter (a week-long meeting during which we talked about the issues that we want to focus on during the next four years and we elected our leadership team). Okay, it’s not quite on the same scale as the gatherings that are taking place this week to greet Pope Benedict, but for those of us who were part of the Chapter meeting it was a remarkable, energizing, and spirit-filled week.

People often ask if I’m worried about the fact that there are fewer women choosing to become Sisters. The honest answer to that? Yes and no. It’s easy to get caught up in the numbers and the uncertainty about the future. You start to wonder who’s going to be here in 50 years and what will happen to our ministries. And then you find yourself in a room with 90+ women who are joyful, committed, and passionate about what they do and why they do it. You are reminded that you’re part of a bigger whole and that God is really the one who is in charge of all this. The founding Sisters who lived in this community 90 years ago never imagined what our life would be like today. We certainly can’t imagine what the face of this community will look like 90 years into the future.

So you move forward in hope and you trust that in the grand scheme of things, the message of the Gospel – the message of love and of hope – continues to touch people’s lives.

Thursday, April 17, 2008 5:22:04 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] | 

I just finished watching a video of Benedict XVI on YouTube. The Pope on YouTube – how the world is changing! It must be humbling to be in Benedict’s spot – to know that the world is watching you. And it must be frustrating – to know that everything you say gets re-hashed and re-interpreted.

In this video and in the news articles before his arrival in the U.S., the Pope has said that he comes to bring a message of hope. In this whirlwind visit, the stops seem so appropriate. Ground Zero and the United Nations…places that speak of the need for a change of heart. Catholic University of America and a gathering of college presidents…a reminder that education can open the door to that change.

I’m not fond of crowds and I don’t like long lines, but listening to all the news around this brief visit takes me back to John Paul II’s visit to Detroit in the 1980’s. I was one those folks in Hart Plaza back then trying to get a better glimpse of him through the zoom lens on my camera. The energy in that sea of people made the jostling and the waiting all worth it.

What are your feelings about this visit?

Thursday, April 17, 2008 4:56:26 PM (Eastern Standard Time, UTC-05:00)    Comments [0] |